Isness...wasness

 what's missing? it's hard to know, really. maybe everything is here, with me, and always was. I'm just deluded. why do I still think of her? do I really need her in my life? there are many people out there. how to find the right ones. or one. 

what if she was me and I am her. why the separation? I wish I could travel like the wind. leave my body and float. I'm the caged bird she used to be. my nerves are my prison. 

memory. just a memory. causing me this turmoil. do I even believe in ghosts? present moment. the present. why can't I stay here? and now? no worries, no fear I can't handle. 

One-Fifth Avenue Party in Someone Else's Own House

 the birdsongs rearranged the delicate chords in my throat, gentle as a breeze, and I lay there in union with the wisdom of nature. we all evolved together and now the flocks in the sky were healing me. my weary feet jolted with shooting energy, the excitation of long-dormant muscles plus sighing relief for the ones that had been holding me up all on their own. a smarter body through cosmic teamwork. the sun was coming up before my moon had dipped and I ran from myself. what else do I ever do?