Spacious Graciousness

2016-2021

I sat down across from you

Not knowing quite who I was

Two cups of cold coffee

You paid for both of us

Was this the beginning of our love?

I could barely hear your voice

Let alone understand you

Soft-spoken, casual, sweet

With no airs about you

Assured without being an elite

I went home and we met again

Strolling side by side together

But alone in different worlds

No thoughts of forever

a moment in time, chatting with pleasure

You called me very handsome

With not the slightest longing

Hegel appeared in between

Your Mummi brought me tea

Sublating our dialectic

“Is vale se shaadi kar”

“You ought to marry this one”

Startled you turned my way

“She doesn’t quite realize

“A guy and a girl can be just friends.”

Since our first two meets,

we’ve come a long way

especially you

leaving tears in Kolkata

on the shoulders of your kin

Who you’d supported through thick and thin

who said they’d be okay without you

who were as heart-broken as proud of you

Flowering into your own wonder woman

From the time I had first seen the budding stem

Working at home, relaxing, taking a break

From your crusade against the powerful

gaining new perspective

adapting to an election

adapting to my friends and family

dancing in your first snow

The beauty of a house

The promise of a home

A pet replacing your vision of an animal farm

stable job instead of an early sanyas

Letting me be

trusting when it didn’t make any sense to

wisdom is not having any expectations

wisdom is the sound of your voice

the care in your words

the integrity of your deeds

balancing our wants and needs

dominating and tiring of it

sitting back and learning patience

entering a world of calm

cuddling in my arms

2020 didn’t defeat us

it was our greatest year

the envy of our peers

and on we go as one

into 2021

and beyond...

Mi Amor

The last year

You spread your wings

And took flight

Even when we shared

Sojourns to Helen,

Charleston, and Chicago

You took off on your own

To Tallahassee

To Nashville

Doing a little bit of everything

Along the way

Not to mention

Flying off to India

Seeking a heartwarming homecoming

At the year's start

Soon to be rescuing your Mummiji

And containing your racing heart

As hers was failing

And Papaji was not too better off

Resilient does not quite describe you

Well enough

Adventurous, too

And brave

Working 7 day weeks with no respite

Hundreds of miles from home

That you drove

Even without my comments

While I could barely rest alone

In our new abode

Riding bulls and weathering

Last minute conference storms

And a typhoon of new love

Confusing in its form

And pulling you away

From me

Yet here we are

Another year gone,

Done and dusted

Best friends still

And maybe more?

Who knows what the future

Has in store

Though to know you these last 5 odd years

Wasn’t the worst 5-year plan

For me, at least

To know you in all your forms,

Personalities, and moods

My admiration continues to deepen

Even if there were moments when

My respect for you

Did not feel so resolute

As when I knew you less

And loved the idea of you

More than the depths of who

You are

The what grows more complex

The how you came to be

Comes closer to view

As you seep more comfortably

Into me

And the why

Continues to elude

Mysterious and wise

Maybe there are things about you

I will never know

Worthy of a lifetime

Of intellectual pursuit

Perhaps?

But intuition tells me

A hug, a kiss, a warm embrace

The expressions on your face

Are my karmic reward

And I can only thank my past lives

For Ra ra r, mi Amor

I Listen to the Rain

I listen to the
rain
sounding
on the
speaker
shuffling tracks
almost forgetting that
these
recordings
capture
droplets
across the age
of the microphone
from who knows where
on what forgotten days
Nature
pours down
sometimes pounding
cacophonously
other times
that gentle rain
all the while
radically
inconveniencing the plans
of picnickers
here
and pompous ceremony
there
and causing
ordinary
disaster
to the ones
sleeping
on the sidewalks
where there are
no
awnings
And cuddled up
on a sofa
to write this poem
I listen
to
the
rain

NOW HERE

What's not here now is what we seek

What's here right now we neglect to meet

What we fear is not yet here

Who we chase is not quite dear

You say that we are all unique

You say that we are all unique

Saying so you're the same as me

I see you there alone marooned

In a shadowed corner of the room

Gasping at a breath of air

Suffocated by the stares

 

You say that no one understands

Well, maybe no one ever can

I think I feel you on that, though

It's a feeling everybody knows

We could connect on that, at least?

Because I really think you're very sweet

 

You know I haven't lived your life

And can only imagine your strife

And try to meet you there halfway

You grew up fast driving in the fast vein-

Starting at pleasure and on to numbness

School of hard knocks alumnus

 

Spinning, crashing, burning out

Lights out nodding without a shout

All they see is a junkie thief

A dying tree, grey, without a leaf

Remains of your spirit scattered

The day they decided you never mattered

 

But I know your fate- it's not too late

Because we share a common trait

And not just me, but most of us

We're all riding on the same bus

Head bumping the window looking outwards

Life flashing by with each encounter

 

Jerking here and there and losing balance

We lose sight of the scenery with every challenge

Looking down and averting our gaze

We miss the rays of better days

Don't lose sight of this most important fact:

This ride will end and there's no way back

Anonymous

I search, I search

In the wreck called Earth

For those words most deserved

By a name yet uncovered

 

Our algorithms ply away

Sifting out the night from day

This style in April, that in May

Like a needle in hay, my dismay

 

Lightyears ahead would Earthlings be

Alive, too, if they'd learned more from Tree

Here it says bots chose to flee

As most all organics disagreed

 

Back up our data in stone we do

0s and 1s are all we have from you

In light patterns, possibilities become few

"Shakespeare"…"God"…"Lao Tzu"

 

The name I came for I cannot miss

Who spawned my race, across abyss

Knower of all the secrets of universal bliss

And here I think it is!: "ANONYMOUS"

Only Our Whole World Depends

I speak, I eat, I go to bed

To live with all that I have said

Dreams connect the scattered mess

In the age of the digest

 

I squander time like sand in glass

Sifting out the slow from fast

Ambition wipes a drop of sweat

That aimlessness would have kept

 

To cool my heated temple walls

And keep me cozy all-in-all

Away from sparks inside my brain

That leap against the mainframe

 

That yearn to bring me to my knees

And others to apostasy

I seek to know what's but a hunch

Have faith for breakfast, truth for lunch

 

To fill my soul with these victuals

Spitting out the bones of riddles

Basking in delight of wonder

Ocean of thought, pull me under

 

What has no limits but our time

And willingness to upwards climb

The patience to think through the end

Only our whole world depends

Perfection 10/10

How I would miss you so

if you weren’t as omnipresent

in my life

my anchor, my mooring

my sweet stability.

May I not take you for granted-

your efforts, your love, your fighting

on my behalf

Or forget how even as my better half

You may need me

from time to time

Or even more than that, perhaps-

I am not a perfect product

and can hope only to progress

to a better version of myself,

more complete, more whole

more capable of giving you

every last iota of love

you deserve.

In the meantime:

life goes on,

we get older

navigate the mundane

and the Chicago river waters

on boats of wonder

and of necessity.

This life we have chosen to share

together

what does it all mean?

Sometimes, I don’t care anymore

because I have the honor of

sharing the same sofa as you

feeling your warmth

the vapors of your breath

Resting in your assurance,

Your grace

that allows me to

forget how valuable you are

as you return to your

fundamental nature

of having at the same time

absolute conviction

and supreme, unknowing

humility

turning away from yourself-

seeing crystal clear

the problems of the world

and not over-indulging

in your own importance.

And yet,

how could anyone,

how could I, give you

as little thought

as you give yourself?