A Cappuccino of Madness

Holding a cappuccino
By the ear of its cup
Several fingers carrying the
warmth to come
Of a supposed elixir
One finger curled around the handle
Ready to rifle myself out-of-bounds
If not spill a hot liquid-
Unstable.
With my index pointer trembling
Not wanting to be outcast yet again
Sitting at this coffee shop
Cozy and sociable
Invisibly sick
Not knowing if what I want
Is to have a grip on this reality
Or any other, for that matter
To sip by sip, be okay with it
Or to pour dreams into
A cappuccino
To accept destinies of chance
In the cream swirls
Of a not-thinking barista
To give my future
To signs, randomness, the universe,
Trails of imagined deliverance,
In the warmth of a cappuccino,
Seducing me
And yet failing me, always
As, with each sip,
Each gulp
My self gets washed away
As I take on the form of an empty cup
Once again