8.20.2025

Us dang se bolte the

I used to write in images- now I just speak my mind. Have I lost my footing in the world that wraps around? Wind sweeping on a cold fall day, slapping my face and bellowing through soft clothes, reminding me of my fragile bones chilling, convulsing in a shiver. 

I used to feel the rhythm of language, each word in its place, each word in its time. Some hitting like a hammer, others waving with one other like a wind chime- writing with a fever for the musicality of rhyme. 

I used to write with all my senses, even if just in metaphors. I was a sky of many colors- orange, pink, and darkening late evening blue. The elements had importance, too: air, water, earth, and fire- changing forms with moods. Feeling now like a pond nearing evaporation, and now overflowing its sloshing muddy banks. 

Craggy, mountainous terrains on maps of obstacles. Falling burning limbs of forest fire telling of hopeless desire. Empty space and invisible distance, showing up as stretched-out arms. 

But now the abstract unfolds more freely, in the flipping pages of my book, and I’m here still, sitting with that vacant look. 

1996-1999-2025->.....................!

 My Tribute to Azhar

Kya baat, kya koshish

Kitne soch ko nikaldiye aap

Kitna jukh jukh ho ke focus

 

Litakthe hue Quran

Apne kande par nahi,

Lekin sir ki bilkul samne

 

Woh savaal hi puchte rehti

Pakistan bhi me

 

Ki yeh Aadmi hai ya kilhadi?

Yeh killhadi hai ya toh jihadi?

 

Bool jate ki kilhadi bhi ji the hain

Kel ke aakir ki baad

Aap bhi koya hai

Woh kilhadi ki kel

 

Voh chandaar balyabaazi ki bail

Voh Papaji ki chain mail

 

Kapil bhi rohte, apne liye yah toh kisliye?

Jab ek pura neeche vale ke log ki captain the aap

Aur upar vale ka bhi

 

Aap ki jhuk jhuk kande par

Ham duniya dekha tha

Eden Garden ki rassi ki andar

 

Ham rakhi jaise banda

Bhai- bhai

Tab bhai behan

Tab dost dushmon

Aur sala friend

 

Aur yeh masala mein

Ek lakh log aapki ped ko jukh ke kade hogaye

Nachte hue

Ithihas ki niyam ki rokhai me

 

Kya baat, aapki bat

Kya chalan, aage-peeche

Koy nahi nuxan

Aur log abhi bhi bolte hain

 

Aap jaada time diye ham sab ko

Binha kuch mangke

 

"bas khelne doh"

Kurukshetra ki ane ke liye kaafi gante hai abhi bhi


Edited for Hindi-Urdu Grammar (vyakhran)

Wednesday, May 21 12:33 PM (Completion Time) (New York - Atlanta) Time Zone - Athenian


We walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, like the Native Indians on their trails of Tears, and yet, thru all of these museums, all of these galleries, trying to read, trying to understand, trying to appreciate Art, and yet, my favorite artistsMussalman, Christian, Jew milke ek din yeh cheez pe agree kiye ki Homosexuality Illegal hai aur Diagnostic aur Statistical Manual main bhi likha tha ki yah paglainiaturist painters of the Mughal courts, the Stone Masons who chiseled away laboriously at the Greek “Artist’s” works, these opuses of ours, the bust of Socrates given to me by Marianna, who Armenian and Soviet lived through some of the worst of Time, and yet, why did my artist not allow me to be her Muse? And-Aur happy years of Depression Must I endure, joyfully, before I can return Home, to that hearth, that chess board, those pieces, that music, that piano, that elephant, that staircase, that bannister, Now adorning the Hips of the West, and the Safety of the East, the Ears of my soul, the Kheer that we Extol, the Rassa Gulla, so Cheekably Pullable, and My Sis, always looking out for me not to prey victim to the Vicious Oscilliations of Mechanical Death, and yet, we Experimented upon <by> the Nazis who live among us, the Soviet Psychiatrists, the Jewish Persuaders of Pontius Pilate, to have the Romans carry out the deed while they feast on their porch and Ed takes a look into MY WIFE, and yet, MY LIFE is still being self-determined, by none other than Conscious Manas, Conscience Manas, Consciencientous manas, for which Compassion has its place, and time, but for whom The Punchout Blow had to be resigned to the Last Resort, for those suppose'd Conquerors of MY India, Nature Study Park, Outram Street, Shakir ke Ghar, AanA? Aur Ananya ki sacrifice, hamari Treasure, woh Bhojpuri, Lollipop, woh Bengali Presidency, jis ki Topper Ka Naam Maine kabhi Bula Nahi, Orpheus, Kyonki Black Orpheus ne Hell ka Kaam katam kardiya Ethiopia mai, aur Athens mai, aur India mai, aur ham Mario aur Luigi Super Nintendo Bhaiy Log, Japan dill se, neeche se uppar, pipes ke bandar, Bandook ke peeche, Goli ke neeche, Ghar ke divaalon me, Jukh jukh jukkh jukh jukh ke, ham kabhi uppar dekha nahi is zindagi me, jab se mere Papa ne Kaha, “Sit up Straight”, jab se mere sensei* ne kaha, “Straighten those knees soldiers” aur jab se Krishna ne Kaha Ladayi Mat Kar, bas, bohut ho gaya! Yeh Yud ko choro, Ham Jew Hoon SabyaSachai, Samuel ka schackles ko le ke, ekhi breath mai, andaaz se pura Gestappo, SS, Brown Shirts (Context Important hai), joh Irami ne Sikhaya khi Martin Luther aur Anne Frank khi umar Ekhi tha, lekin Martin Luther Jiya Aadmi, aur Anne Frank ko un logon ne Mar dhi. Mussalman, Christian, Jew milke ek din yeh cheez pe agree ki: ki Homosexuality Illegal hai aur Diagnostic aur Statistical Manual main bhi likha tha ki yah paglai hai, aur Munmun Bhai ne wohi AIDS andolon ko Shuru kiya jab makkhi jaise log gir rahe the anemia se, tuberculosis se, malaria se, chikunguniya se (kya duniya hai yeh??), pneumonia se, aur dengue se bhi… Meri Dost, khoyo mat mujhe? Main Hoon, na? Aur Aap? Aur…hum?


p.s. 

Written In Defense of My Selfs. I rest my Case.


(edited for vyakrhan and pureness- August 20th, 4:23 PM Georgia Standard Time)