Your Breath at Last Gasp

At last gasp

Filling in the gaps of the past

Memory fairy

Of a room bright and airy

Reminder bot

Cleansing the mind of its spots

Sea green walls

A cue for total recall

What I can't remember:

The look on your face

The first thing you said to me

What you wore that day,

Just an overall impression-

Losing you was my biggest life lesson,

Even more than all I learned

From my clients in our sessions,

Because I still haven't met another

Whom I admire better,

I still can't let go

When even just your aether

Fills me with melancholy joy,

Nostalgic pangs,

And warm internal weather.

But you've moved on

So to respect you so should I,

It's been years

And for you, I'm not that guy,

Not a perfect partner

Not a dreamy love

Not your soulmate, sent from above,

So why do I cling to hope

That we'll be together again one day?

Why do I still think of you as perfect,

When you didn't love me enough to stay?

Though maybe the love wasn't lacking,

From your side or from mine,

Maybe just some bad decisions,

That became fixed in time,

And so I'll always have regrets

When it all could have been otherwise,

But if it's too late to go back,

Better that my vision I revise.

For maybe in another

I'll get that second chance,

And I won't forget the love we shared,

But I'll give the next the enhanced

Transformation of myself,

Who's come to terms with loss,

Who let you go your own way,

To be your life's own boss.

And maybe with a healthy love,

I'll mirror your life, too,

And we'll come to be friends once more,

Like we were when we first knew,

Each others' names and interests,

But not each others' flaws,

As friends we can sustain our bond,

As our wounds heal from being raw.

Plastic garden chairs

Thrown out when I left

Plant pots given to the neighbor

Your left-behind clothes donated

Out of gentle respect

Moved to another country

Should be enough space to breathe

Life starts over

And as your breath lingers...