To letting go of emotions
To letting go of ego
And any need for lotion
Not needing to impress
Or ever be the best
For all you are is you are all
Not standing short nor standing tall
Forget whence came your wherewithal
And ever know the eternal
The boat rocks
With the putting on of socks
With the wearing of shoes
Begins the whole deluge
A butterfly floats hither
The hurricane now differs
The wearing of these pants
Alters the whims of chance
She stopped to have a chat
When I'd worn the yellow hat
The day the coffee stained my shirt
Was the day she left Earth first.
Do the heavens follow these random rules?
Star systems scoffing at us astronomical fools
Not meaning to be either callous or cruel
Night sky simply fizzing delight bejeweled
Not disconnected from the bubbles in this Sprite
Light as witness to all neither wrong nor right
Twisting and writhing in cavernous dark
I look for order in chaos so stark
I look for order in chaos remarkable
I look for order in chaos so stark
I look for order in a chaos
Everyday awareness
Take me to my highness
Putting down the weapons
Of my mental blindness
Let me feel the bliss
Of a day to reminisce
Letting down my guard
Forgetting my to-do list
Leaning into pain
And learning, each refrain
As decades pass by faster
And each year links life's chain
I feel myself much wiser
To know I'd be a liar
Not to see that 10 years on
These words will seem much triter
And from that perch in time
May I treat my follies kind
And return to that innocence-
Life not repeating but set to rhyme:
Of one who knows but not quite so much
As one day on, and on, til all is dust.
All you are is pretty words
Quicksilver touch, watery allure
Turtle shell head down demure
A heart so flawed to seek the pure
All you are is pretty words
Oceans rising, you stay submerged
Nod, acquiesce, you concur
Go with the flow, you say for sure
Pockets full of time without a spur
Where do you point, to what refer?
To follow the leader is to follow the herds
Meekness has brought you bleak rewards
Hanging back not moving towards
All you are is pretty words
A
people passed
From
these guys to
Those
guys
Millions
marauded-
Persons-
I
don’t mean the
Billions
in
Whose
currency again?
All
I do is flip through the channels
Of
carousel scenes of chaos
A
life plucked from a plane
By
the force of desperation
Dropping
onto tarmac
A
thousand feet below
For
all of us to see
How
naked of dignity
In
life and
In
death
An
entire people can be.
And
what to us?
Popcorn
spectacle
Watercooler
talking point
Third
world "hell-hole"
After
"hell-hole"
These
are the others
We
could never know
Hidden
in our 'sights'
Living
in the shadow
While
the one's we all appoint
To
run these world affairs
Couldn't
really give a damn
Don't
really even care.
Black shoes, black pants
Grey shirt
A Human inhabits
The fabrics
Working
Standing, walking
Sitting
shifting
When is it time
To go home?
Dimly lit house
Back from the road
Hidden by trees
Won't you come and visit?
Pour color on my clothes
Draw lines on a blank face
Eating and sleeping
And working
Have lost their charm.
I'm disarmed so easily as you
Twirl your fingers through your hair
While we play through songs
On the old-time stereo
You look at me
And the flute solo is almost on cue
What algorithm is this?
That knows our whole lives
Better than we know ourselves
Spread bare by
constellations of data points
That light up my soul against
The backdrop of my life
My mouth now dances
To the rhythm of spells
Gushing all over your rarity
Compelled by your minimalism
Letting go of every half-baked thought
Every summed and numbed sentiment
Multiplied by every rumination
Concluding
In an aftermath of
Disappearing mystery
The moment has passed
My stomach reminds me
Of another supper
Another dreamless sleep
Back to work
In the same black shoes
Black pants, grey shirt
And with these newfound lines
Animating my face
Time
Watches
Me wherever I go
Time is who I worship
From Sunday to sundown
The hour is always upon me
From hourglass to sundial
Time empties me dry
Until all I can do
Is watch
Time
Time
Counts me
My every step
Every turn and twist
Time is mathematical
Multiplying in all our plans
Subtracting away the people I love
Dividing life into memories
Time is not vengeful
Use me it says
“Make me
Count”
Time
Time
Heals all
Maybe next
Time things will be
Different- more serene
Waiting for that time feels like
Forever again- I feel now
Time is always here
Together with my
Keeping of it
All hail
Time
What is it I keep in the center of my labyrinth?
The letters on the spines of the books on my shelf?
The secrets I keep unknown, even to myself?
All the potions that will cure me, or simple absinthe?
What are the contours of the walls seen from overhead?
How high I launch my mind with mighty escapism?
How bright is the fall, with light scattered through prisms?
Until you reach the darkness, the center of my dread?
Mazes made for a reason, do you understand?
To keep safe what’s most valued? Or hide what is most base?
In a world where both are the same, you’ll find the rat race
Questions neverending supplanting all demands.
What is it I search for? Where my Daedalus?
Who designed this latest monstrosity?
Puzzling and exhausting me
With many ways in but no way out
Consummate professional
One with the dust
Settled on the floor
Sweeping from this door to that door
Back unbroken
So it seemed
Spirit unbowed
Although
Your life was labor
And to us, what more?
Your Hindi must have met
My Bengali
Further along the line
Hand on hip, smiling
Accepting your lot in life
Not having any options
Maybe
But finding respite
In what never changed
a rag, a jhaaro, and the light
in your eyes
Gratitude for my love
Each day you rise
Just at that time
That I go back to sleep
Shaking off my fourth alarm
You tell me “Go to office”
Like clockwork
And fall back to sleep
Just one instance of doing just what is required
To keep me afloat
Call us “Co-dependent”
But I look up to you
Faithfully
For you have never failed me
Call me “Borderline personality”
But I know your criticism is your care
And I (usually) can take it all in
With my unblinking stare
For you don’t intend reprimanding
Your talent is
Understanding
I see constellations
in blind frustration
warriors made
out of the good red clay
stomping on tomorrow’s yield
with injuries from yesterday
firing in the kiln-
manmade artifice
no new newspaper mills-
the thirst for kill
that you-or-me thrill
so pull the water out the well
heaving hard on hope
quench ourselves from fire
because today we could just find
an oasis or a mire
dissolving in solutions-
when the problems loom so large
so close, so loud, deafening- shards
when we already have selective hearing
and our ear drums are dead to
music
then music takes its turn
moving the ocean of mood
please
Turn
It
Down
A
Little (a lot)
w omb sounds begin
a rtistic creation
v olume just so to remind us of
e xistatic
s ilence
now we (I, U, Me, Them, Us- the theme is unity)
We can either
arrive at heaven’s gate
at the rate of fate
Or eat what we have planted-
fruition on our plate
Add in all the flavors
that repelled us oh so much
bitter, sour, sweet
pungent, umami
spicy
Stomach every poison
Our tongues have let speak
Subdue our gazes
Learn from our neighbors
freedom of immigration and customs
respect for difference
especially what is individual
never to exclude the ones longing
for basic belonging-
(who isn’t?)
No One knows the uncharted way
of this united vision
Though we all are rays
In the Sun’s Vision
This mirror world we live in
pointing at each other
Criticisms and all the isms
bouncing back onto ourselves
compounding each and every hatred
and each and every joy
each and every kind act we deploy
each and every dream we pass on to another
each and every apology to our mothers
each and every insult we bomb onto the weak
Each and every cruelty we attach to when we think
Each and every disrespect to a people or a person
Each and every movement to a better version
Of Me, I, us (once I meet with U), WE (once them/us does not divide us any further thus)
This is my hope, that we stay dissolved in the solutions, that the water brigade may meet every fire brigade, and that the fire brigade will only be the water brigade, in reality. For accidents may happen, but I am responsible for me. I am responsible for my part in us. Us and Them are responsible for becoming WE. It maybe what it is, but We are who we are; We are what we think, feel, say, do, together, and for the silence that we will return to, the shadow of the light, the emptiness inside us, the beauty burning bright.
I sat down across from you
Not knowing quite who I was
Two cups of cold coffee
You paid for both of us
Was this the beginning of our love?
I could barely hear your voice
Let alone understand you
Soft-spoken, casual, sweet
With no airs about you
Assured without being an elite
I went home and we met again
Strolling side by side together
But alone in different worlds
No thoughts of forever
a moment in time, chatting with pleasure
You called me very handsome
With not the slightest longing
Hegel appeared in between
Your Mummi brought me tea
Sublating our dialectic
“Is vale se shaadi kar”
“You ought to marry this one”
Startled you turned my way
“She doesn’t quite realize
“A guy and a girl can be just friends.”
Since our first two meets,
we’ve come a long way
especially you
leaving tears in Kolkata
on the shoulders of your kin
Who you’d supported through thick and thin
who said they’d be okay without you
who were as heart-broken as proud of you
Flowering into your own wonder woman
From the time I had first seen the budding stem
Working at home, relaxing, taking a break
From your crusade against the powerful
gaining new perspective
adapting to an election
adapting to my friends and family
dancing in your first snow
The beauty of a house
The promise of a home
A pet replacing your vision of an animal farm
stable job instead of an early sanyas
Letting me be
trusting when it didn’t make any sense to
wisdom is not having any expectations
wisdom is the sound of your voice
the care in your words
the integrity of your deeds
balancing our wants and needs
dominating and tiring of it
sitting back and learning patience
entering a world of calm
cuddling in my arms
2020 didn’t defeat us
it was our greatest year
the envy of our peers
and on we go as one
into 2021
and beyond...
my self dissolves
in the light of overexposed film
reels and reels of black magnetic tape
all that I am
nothing less
nothing more
no more cut scenes
of strings of memory
some brighter than others
some damaged beyond repair
unable to ever capture the full extent of my life
anyways
no longer identifiable
as the person I am
or was
just black magnetic strips
spinning in circles relentlessly
whirring on the wheel
is this who I am?
where am I?
I could be anything
everyone
everything
anyone
who has ever been
who will ever be
absolutely naked
nothing
a child in the womb
not quite ready for a new world
not knowing anything else
wiped clean
for the show
for the next scene
black majestic tape
it all must go on:
LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION